About 6.5 months ago, my ISFP boyfriend and I broke up while he was at a very low point in his life. We were long-distance (3 hours apart), and he’d lost his business, didn’t have a car, and was struggling with clinical depression. He seemed to have lost hope in just about everything and was pushing away most of the people he cared about, including me.
Before all of this, he was absolutely head over heels for me. If anything, I always felt like he loved me a tiny bit more. He was affectionate, intentional, and talked about our future together. But as his mental health declined, he became increasingly withdrawn and started pushing me away.
During our breakup, he cried and told me he didn’t need to be in a relationship with ANYONE. He’s remained single since.
He’s always been a brutally honest person, so the night we ended things I pressed him about whether his feelings had changed. He admitted he still had feelings for me. I kept asking, “Do you still like me?” and he repeatedly said, “I didn’t say I don’t like you.”
He also kept saying, “I need a lot of help,” and the cliché, “It’s me, you haven’t done anything wrong.”
I asked if he’d ever reach out once he was in a better place. He hesitated and said, “That’s not fair to you.” I said, “Please? If you want to?” He paused again and eventually said yes.
I haven’t intentionally been waiting for him, but the truth is, I still love him desperately. It’s been over six months, and no one else has even come close to catching my attention.
I’ve heard through mutual friends that he’s gotten a new job, moved, and is slowly getting his life back on track. We haven’t spoken in about six months. I reached out a couple of months after the breakup, and he read my message and didn’t respond. He also doesn’t have social media, so there’s no way for us to casually keep up with each other.
My questions for ISFPs:
Have you ever gone back to an ex as the dumper? Would your feelings be completely gone after 6 months of not seeing each other?
And if you did still have feelings, would guilt, shame, or fear of rejection stop you from reaching out? Would you hope your ex contacted you first, especially if you were the one who ended things?
I know MBTI doesn’t determine someone’s behavior, and I’m not assuming he’ll come back. I’m just really interested in hearing from ISFPs who’ve been on his side of a situation like this.
