Sorry in advance if this isn't what this sub is for. Hello, I've been a lurker to the BDSM culture for years but never had the courage to engage or even really reach out. If I had to be comfortable with a label, I'd say that in my head, I'm an trans FTM gay man with submissive tendencies, but not always bottom if that makes any sense at all. But I don't feel right interacting with the trans communities because I can't transition. I don't feel right to interact with the gay communities because I'm technically female but not a lesbian. I am actually pretty uncomfortable about feminine people, men, or women because it makes me feel like a failure, which i cant really explain. I don't feel right interacting with D/s communities because I don't know the rules and therefore feel like I just want to stand in a corner until the wall has mercy on me and swallows me. But I also have trouble giving up control because I don't want to be a burden for anyone if I screw up even though all i crave is being needed and useful.

Anyway, I want to learn more because I've always felt drawn to the lifestyle and tried to filter out the warping that media or prejudice had on it, but I feel like I can't get any closer without....actually participating or attending in some manor. I hate how I feel, but just....it's not that I don't feel like it would be welcoming but that I would be taking up space and time I don't deserve.

Does anyone know where to start without invading slices, not meant for me? Where I could talk to real people, not AI or bullshit or...I don't even know.

I want a gentle, masculine man who makes an effort to really know and understand me, who I can have parity and respect and equality with but who understands that sometimes I need to relinquish control. I don't know how to find a man who doesn't take advantage of my age, disabilities, or circumstances, and it's so frustrating. I don't want to date around. I want to find love, and I'm getting impatient even though I'm still pretty young. Just frustrated.

I miss being a Submissive.
I miss being somebody else’s Submissive.
I miss texting them good morning the first thing in the morning.
I miss wishing them goodnight when I go to sleep.
I miss updating them in the fun stuff in my life.
I miss crying my heart out whenever I felt hurt.
I miss being babied and coddled whenever I felt sad or ecstatic.
I miss receiving praises and those adorable kisses.
I miss appreciating my Dom because as my first, he was the bestest Daddy ever.
I miss the peace my heart felt a few months ago when everything was just the way as it was :(

I’m no longer an owned Sub, many things happened because of which my Dom and I took a break, but the dynamic break somewhere turned into a break in our friendship too, and we haven’t spoken in over a month or so. He’s struggling with lots of things, so even taking the decision of no longer being owned by him or submitting to him hurts like a bitch, but maybe it was necessary. For my own sanity. For if at all anything that 2026 has taught me this year is that, I need to learn how to be a bit more than just a little selfish. Not saying that my Dom is, but tbh, many of my friends and the whole fucking world around us is.
My Dom( or ex Dom? Tf should type ugh) he is the type to take space and time for as long as needed to recover, heal and feel better. And I’m the complete opposite. I need somebody to be there by my side. However I wish ppl in my life would get that :( many of my friends too don’t take much because they’re busy but oh well :( I’m busy too!! I still make time for myself and others. Don’t I??!! Fucking hell.

None of my friend’s know that I’m going through this, they just see him as a normal close or best friend. And I’ve never dated anyone which makes this even worse because my friends would just assume it was an online situations or anything shitty so I just stick to the friendship-problem narrative :(
I just wish somebody could hear me and be there for me whilst I vent so I can cry and cry my whole heart out🥺
Because as a little, I still haven’t cried the loss of my Dom, And I haven’t cried much in general. I keep having mental breakdowns every now and then but haven’t bawled my eyes out yk?

I miss the routine and safety that came in a dynamic but I know that for my own sanity, I will not jump into a dynamic anytime soon, because of many personal and mental health reasons.

I just needed some place to rant, I don’t know how I’m gonna move on, it so feels shitty and hopeless :/ There are really few subReddits where one can rant and vent, maybe this one is one of those🥺🩷
Any kind words would be appreciated :/

Okay w any pet names too :)

Hi!
I’m sorry about the the potential long message below :)
It’s been a while since my dom and I parted ways because things just fell apart thanks to our busy schedules. There’s this strange emptiness.

I packed my entire life and move to another country.. and my dom had been the only person i ever talked to regarding this. Feels so strange because im so lonely. He would’ve made it better.
He always told me im strong enough to do the things i talk about but it doesn’t seem true anymore. Life is so scary. I achieved a dream but i feel like a loser. I haven’t spoken to anyone in days, I’ve been in my room trying to make sense of my life now.
I just wish.. someone could sit with me and make me feel safe enough to just.. breathe. Let go.

I don’t know if this makes sense, I’m sorry to put this out here I just needed an outlet and doms here.. are kind enough to listen. Thank you ❤️

When not im really sorry and wish you the best time, when it is a q&a group for slaves then do I need a lot of help about my fetish maybe also a tipp, if you have a issoue too i could help you 🍄

xx
Thanks for taking time

I was just playing online with this guy and he was being really degrading (more than I’ve ever experienced before), but I was enjoying it in the moment, but then he suddenly left and ghosted me, and all the things he said are making me feel sick and horrid and like I wanna curl up and cry. I let him do this and I should have been smarter. I messaged him asking for just a kind word at the end, but he hasn’t responded and it’s been like half an hour. Maybe everything he said was right, maybe he was bad and I was being stupid. I feel like I can’t breathe, I just wanna curl up with my stuffies and have someone kind with me. I’m so sure I’m bad. I’m just stuck on my bathroom floor unable to move, feeling like such a failure and idiot and like everyone is so disappointed in me, that I’m just bad

Hii I’d love any kindness tbh
I miss my dom it’s been like 2 years but yh
I’m in pain and feel sick and it’s like midnight so need to be asleep :( but pain won’t let me
I’ve taken meds and have a tens on :) I’m trying but it’s so hard

My Daddy has gone away for the weekend with his other girlfriend and I feel like im breaking. I can't get out of bed, I can't function, I can't stop crying. I feel like our whole dynamic is a lie if i have to switch off needing him like this.

I asked him to take off my day collar while he was away and now i feel broken and like nothing matters. I don't know how to get through the next few days

In need of some warmth and kind words.
My boyfriend broke up with me, and the reason was that I “require too much attention” and he cannot provide it. Even handholding was too much for him sometimes, and I am very clingy. My brain understands that it would be life at max difficulty, but i was genuinely trying and hoping we’ll have a future together.
He didn’t know about my little side, I wanted to tell him, blindly thinking that he’ll accept me.
And now he left me and I’ve been sobbing and getting drunk for the past 3 days.
I’m tired of trying to find someone who will love me the same way I love. I’m starting to think such people don’t exist.
im all alone now, and it’s dark and scary, and I just need a shoulder to lean on but there’s nothing.
I feel like a lost pup who’s been dumped on the street.

Baby/kitten/sweetheart
And thank you for all your support.

Just like the title says. She didn’t take it well. We were in completely different places. I’m starting my career and she didn’t like that I couldn’t talk all the time. I just felt so love bombed, I didn’t know what else to do. It was only a month, but she was upset that I wasn’t her girlfriend. She compared it to having a dead wife. I miss her, but I didn’t know what else I could do. Did I do the right thing?

Hi, I’m really struggling with finding the motivation to eat recently, my brain keeps on saying mean things and I feel so exhausted that I don’t want to get out of bed. I made a deal with myself that I can get take out tonight because it’s the weekend, but I feel like I don’t deserve it, and I feel so exhausted that I don’t want to order it or eat it anyway. I can also feel myself starting to age regress (it happens involuntarily) which is making the whole task even more daunting. I was wondering if anyone could help with my motivation by telling me (kindly) that I need to get my food, because I need to listen to someone else right now. Or just let me know I’m not bad for wanting to eat

btw I’m 22, my pronouns are he/him

Hello all.

As has become custom, this post goes out every Saturday (though you can request praise any time).

You tell us something that went well this week for you and you'll get some friendly praise. So step right up and get a little positive feedback.

Same general rules apply:

• keep it simple, please
• say if you want pet names used or virtual affection offered (virtual hugs or forehead kisses, etc.).
• say if there is a type of praise or a word/phrase that really does it for you (this is good practice for asking for what you need)
• praise will be friendly, non-sexual, and more implicitly than explicitly dominant.

So what is something you did well, big or small, this week and would like a bit of praise for?

I just finished a 12 week body recomp program and have seen a lot of positive changes from lifting/conditioning 5 days a week. I also decided to go dry and am 50 days alcohol free. Both these things have been extremely hard to achieve more so mentally these last few months. I want to keep going on both fronts because I feel the best I’ve felt in a long time. However, I am also going through a huge transition in life that has me non-stop stressed.

Looking for words of encouragement to keep at it and keep showing up for myself through this hard time.

Preferred pet names: little one, baby girl, sweetie

Hello all.

As has become custom, this post goes out every Saturday (though you can request praise any time).

You tell us something that went well this week for you and you'll get some friendly praise. So step right up and get a little positive feedback.

Same general rules apply:

• keep it simple, please
• say if you want pet names used or virtual affection offered (virtual hugs or forehead kisses, etc.).
• say if there is a type of praise or a word/phrase that really does it for you (this is good practice for asking for what you need)
• praise will be friendly, non-sexual, and more implicitly than explicitly dominant.

So what is something you did well, big or small, this week and would like a bit of praise for?

I’m a college student with a crazy busy schedule. I’ve been trying to stay focused on my work but it gets hard. Recently I’ve had a family member get cancer and I finally get the chance to go home and visit. I could really use some encouragement.

The usual, still My Dom is away, on a break. We haven’t spoken in nearly 15 days now. And I feel horribly horrible :((

I went to the counsellor today and yesterday!! I did a good job she said by taking the courage to seek counselling🥺 and she told me that if I need reassurances, if I need communication, then I should let that be a need, and fulfilled. And if I am upset that my needs aren’t being met, then I should honour my emotions and cry if that’s what makes me feel better.

But I haven’t told her, and I will not(pls don’t tell me otherwise) about my dom or interest in ddlg or BDSM because it’s not very much appreciated where I come from soooo…. Anyways. Today I miss dada extra hard :( and he wants his space so he is kinda not texting me :/ but I also want to hear some good things that I did good :( I’ve been so strong this month without him, as a dom or a friend :’( everything was soooo hard, still is!! Makes me so so sad about everyyything🥺🥺🥺I just wanna cuddle Dada and cry so so much, or maybe my Mr. Teddy, who according to Dada, takes care of me when he’s not around🥺🥺

Lord I even feel ashamed and embarrassed coming out on here but I needed to ramble somewhere about it all🥺🥺😭

I received an email tonight that the legal owner will apparently be able to take the cat to the vet on October 16th, and can take him permanently that day as “jt looks like I will have a situation lined up for him by then”.
I am relieved to have it over with, but I’m also really upset and sad.
As I’ve alluded to in other posts by saying I experienced a trauma last year, I was harmed profoundly by a group of people I trusted last November at an annual retreat. This week I have finally been able to start a document so I can make a report of the event and hopefully stop it from happening to anyone else in the future. It has been a cathartic and empowering experience to start writing it down, but unfortunately also retraumatizing, so I have been really struggling mentally with it in the last few days.
I’m trying hard to change my circumstances and have made a lot of progress since the summer started, but I feel horrible right now because I’m still hungry and alone like 90% of the time and it gets so hard to manage everything.
The littles in my system have been feeling scared and unimportant, and we just wish we could go to someone else’s house and be taken care of by a man who wants to be there and who we can actually trust. We just want to be away from here for one night and be fed and not alone.
If any men or male adjacent people come across this post I just need daddy energy and gentle/kind words to help me cope with the whole cat situation. Im having a hard time not age regressing right now because it all feels like too much but that’s also scary because I need to take care of the body.

I've been having a bad week, and it's gotten worse because I just realized I accidentally missed a job interview. My boss keeps giving me fewer hours, and I keep doing my best to call and ask for more, but I'm struggling to stay positive lately. I also have some issues with insurance that I'm trying to fix on my own, and I'm starting to feel like everything I do doesn't matter. Being sick on and off is the cherry on top of everything. 🫠

Good girl and puppy are okay to use for me.

Ghosted after 15 months of friendship. Everything felt normal. Last message was a Happy Birthday message to me. Then… deleted. No goodbye. Nothing.
This man had listened. He had told me he liked me. Enjoyed our friendship. Was glad he met me.
This man had taken the time to teach me things about computers and finance and government.
This man had listened to a podcast interview about my life that was over an hour long.
Hours of conversations.
Then suddenly.. deleted.
I guess that is the risk of online friendships.

Hello all.

As has become custom, this post goes out every Saturday (though you can request praise any time).

You tell us something that went well this week for you and you'll get some friendly praise. So step right up and get a little positive feedback.

Same general rules apply:

• keep it simple, please
• say if you want pet names used or virtual affection offered (virtual hugs or forehead kisses, etc.).
• say if there is a type of praise or a word/phrase that really does it for you (this is good practice for asking for what you need)
• praise will be friendly, non-sexual, and more implicitly than explicitly dominant.

So what is something you did well, big or small, this week and would like a bit of praise for?

Im going through one of the hardest periods of my life and I keep getting up and following the advice to focus on the small things, priorities myself but honestly i don’t know how im going to continue

Struggling with feeling lonely and losing hope ill find my person. Struggling with whether to choose recovery from a mental illness and the conflict and fear in my head. Struggling with feeling unlovable and invisible. Just wish someone could take over for a little bit and tell me what to do, so i could just stop adulting and having to look after myself.

I'm very new to being submissive and am learning A LOT about myself. I found this side of myself through online conversations and brought the concept home to hubby- who is fully on board and has the right mindset for it....but, both of us are a bit lost on how to engage when I get in my quiet moods.

It feels like I need something, but I'm not sure what exactly it is. I imagine myself building a blanket nest inside of myself and snuggling in there- quiet, reserved, sitting in low light. When I am on, I am sparky, engaging, silly, a bit bratty but more playful and sweet (maybe little energy?- I know nothing).

He has asked me how he should proceed when I am in this mood and I struggle to answer because I am not sure. He has been proceeding with calm energy, physical touch and cuddles, which is nice- but still doesn't feel like what I am seeking.

So- I suppose the support I am after is- what kind of praise/encouragement would be offered if this was your situation? I'll trust that someone out there has an idea of the support that I am seeking and they will see this and offer a suggestion.

Thanks in advance- again, I am very new and there are parts of myself I'm still just learning how to tap into.