I'm a 25-year-old Orthodox Christian man living in the UK. I'd really like to hear from people who've been in a similar situation.
The Orthodox community around me is quite small, and I'm finding it hard to meet someone who shares my faith and wants a serious relationship. That's made me wonder about dating someone from a different denomination, but I'm not sure I'm ready to take that step.
For those who've dated or married someone from a different Christian tradition:
How did it work out, especially around church life, worship, and sacraments?
Did you run into problems with family or church communities?
How did you decide what was a dealbreaker and what wasn't?
And if you're in the same boat, with a small community and few options nearby, how are you handling it?
Any experiences or advice are appreciated. Thank you!

My husband works a physical job and has a low sex drive. We have sex a few times a month. Early in our relationship we made a video of us having sex and occasionally I will use it to pleasure myself. My husband never tries to make me orgasm and finishes very quickly when we do have sex. Our marriage is amazing and the sexual part is the only issue. Is it sinful to masturbate if my husband doesn't want to have sex? He doesn't want to put in the work to make me orgasm and masturbating is the only way for that to happen for me. I feel so sad and guilty.

My husband (m28) and I (f27) have been together for 12 years, married for 6. I’ve known my whole life I didn’t want children. I have never wanted to experience pregnancy, never wanted to see a child of mine, etc. truthfully I don’t really even care to be around kids. Don’t get me wrong, if I saw a child in distress I would help but I don’t actively go to events for kids. Well at 17 I got pregnant. This was me pre-Jesus and I certainly didn’t walk in faith. I ended up having an abortion and I didn’t fully grasp how much it would destroy me. For the next year I grieved heavily and finally told him I wanted a child. So we had our daughter. She has been the absolute light of my life and I couldn’t imagine a day going by without her. After having her though I was very adamant that I was done having kids and I truly couldnt do it again. Fast forwards several years and my stance hasn’t changed however his has. He has been asking for years to have more kids and I do not want them. I had to come off birth control due to my hormones being erratic. I made sure we were completely safe and somehow boom. I’m pregnant. I told him this and that I wanted to look at adoption as it’s not in our cards to raise another child. This is something I am very passionate about and mentally as well as physically feel I cannot safely do. He says absolutely not, adoption is not on the table at all but he said we can divorce. I’m devastated by the whole situation and obviously don’t want divorce but I’m so incredibly hurt that he won’t hear me out at all. Physically he is very frail and we are currently taking a year to just be with his doctors. Neither of us have jobs to provide currently and he is literally sick every single day. I’m his wife, and caretaker as well as parenting our 7 year old. I asked for a compromise of if we do this will you get a vasectomy? I have been on antidepressants ever since finding out and have had a really hard time coping.he says he will not change his body because that’s the way god made him. Which, okay I can understand that to a point but I can’t take birth control now because of how much it messed me up. I am completely exhausted caring for him and our child literally 100% of the time and it feels like no matter what I try he refuses to hear me. As a Christian wife it’s my job to put him first and to serve him. But it calls for the husband to do the same. I am completely lost and really struggling. I a 30 weeks and have absolutely no connection to this child, I’m angry all of the time and I still want to adopt it out, I know the responsibility will fall 100% on myself again because there’s days he can’t even get up out of bed. To have done all of this for him to be told I can leave now that he has his second kid he wanted is heart breaking to me and I just don’t know what to do. I’m starting to have a real resentment to this child and I KNOW it’s not the kids fault. I’m just tired of feeling so disposable in my own family.

Hey everyone!
I’m 28M, married, and currently going through a separation with my wife. It’s been one of the most difficult and humbling seasons of my life, and something I’ve been trying to navigate with patience, understanding, love, and faith.

I love my wife dearly, and while I still hold onto hope and pray for reconciliation and the restoration of our marriage, I’m also coming to understand that there’s only so much within my control. I can’t force
reconciliation, nor would I want to. I can only continue to work on myself, respect her need for space, and trust God with what I cannot control.

Throughout this experience, I’ve also been growing closer to God and exploring my Christian faith more seriously. I’m still relatively new in my walk with Christ, and there’s so much I don’t know or understand yet. But I’ve found myself turning to prayer, Scripture, and God more than ever before.

One passage that’s really resonated with me is Ephesians 5:25, about husbands loving their wives as Christ loved the church. I’ve been reflecting a lot on what that truly means. Not just loving my wife through words or feelings, but learning to love selflessly, patiently, faithfully, and without expectations of anything in return.

I’m hoping to connect with other Christian men, particularly husbands who have gone through separation, experienced serious marital struggles, or have been blessed with reconciliation and a healthier marriage afterward.

I’d love to hear your experiences, what you learned, how your relationship with God changed, and how you navigated loving your spouse while also giving them the space they needed.

I’m also hoping to find an older Christian husband who might be willing to offer some mentorship, prayer, accountability, or simply fellowship. Someone who has walked through difficult seasons in marriage and could share some wisdom with a younger husband who’s still learning.

I’m currently living in the Lakewood/Tacoma area of Washington, so if anyone happens to be nearby, I’d love to connect locally as well. Coffee, church, men’s Bible studies, prayer groups, or even volunteering together would be wonderful. I’m equally open to connecting with people elsewhere.

I’m not looking for guarantees that my marriage will be restored, nor am I looking to place blame on my wife. I know marriage takes two people, and there’s plenty I still need to learn and grow from myself.

More than anything, I’m trying to become a better man, a better Christian, and a better husband, regardless of what the future holds.

If you’ve experienced something similar, I’d genuinely love to hear your story. Whether your marriage was reconciled or not, I believe there’s something valuable to learn from one another.

And if you’re currently walking through separation yourself, please know you’re welcome to reach out as well. Maybe we can encourage and pray for one another.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. God bless you all. ❤️

M26 | F29

My goal truly isn't to complain but to understand how to not allow my love to grow cold towards her and not to allow my heart to be guarded towards her.

I was taught more recently to live your life out of the identity of a priest and have since learned an acronym to help doing so and the foundation of a priestly order is to speak is to call those things that be not as though they were(Romans 4:17), i.e. Ezekiel speak to the dry bones and prophesy. The acronym that I learned is A.L.I.V.E. Absorb human failure. Love without reward. Vocational suffering. Extender of mercy.

I set this up so as to say my goal and duty is to do the above truly for better or worse.
 
My wife and I have been married a year. We regularly go through this pattern where she just decides to stop speaking with me, sleeping near me, acknowledging me altogether. it's lessened over time significantly before it was like clock where every 4-7 days and it could be for literally any reason. She’ll just leave the house and be gone for hours at a time. Sometimes she’ll literally just sit in the car in the garage for hours. She has a lot of past trauma from a lot of men she’s been with so I understand the strange behavior but observing her behavior is as though she’s surviving abuse which makes me quite sad of course. Sometimes I'd know why she restarted, most times I had no clue. It used to really hurt me a lot and I really couldn’t stand it. I used to force her to have conversation and really get angry for her avoidance. I’ve since learned that’s unhealthy and have stopped trying to “solve” her behaviors about 7 months ago. I have even stopped suggesting things I think would help her overall discontentment with life like getting a job. She’s a SAHW but I think all this idle time is really unhealthy for her, any suggestions I make though she absolutely hates and takes as criticism so I don’t say anything anymore. Nowadays l've become somewhat numb to it and have accepted it as my life. Even during the "good" times when she likes me lol it's hard to be present and receive her as genuine. It’s so odd because during these “good” times she's incredibly clingy and then she withdraws whenever she feels upset about something. 

I’ve learned to accept all of the disappointment of how our marriage is going and just appreciate the growth that I do see. I try to be positive and have that priestly attitude but some days it gets lonely and I wish I could just leave. 

For context, my husband and I have 2 daughters 6 and 3 and we are both believers but I will say he is a little more loose on some things than I am, especially regarding Halloween and scary movies. He is currently watching the IT tv series at night when he gets home (which is pretty late like after 11pm due to his current shift). The last 2 nights, our 3 yr old daughter who has been asleep for hours already by that time and definitely cannot hear the tv downstairs in another room completely (she also has a sound machine blasting at almost full volume), starts SCREAMING in her sleep. My husband has gone up to check on her both times the last two nights when it happens and he says she is completely asleep but screaming. It was last night when HE said "it's weird...this is only happening to her when I watch that IT show...". I agreed that it was weird and asked him if he had thought about maybe letting that play in our house was possibly opening the door to something dark? He agreed and seemed thoughtful about it for a min and did turn it off completely and came to bed. I think the general thing I am seeking help with is how to pray for this? I prayed immediately last night after we had this conversation. We have prayed together before but usually do not due to him feeling weird/awkward about it. I'm going to have a conversation with him later today and just ask him to pray for me and our daughters on his own time. Additionally, his aunts were in town recently and they are also believers. They told me something I had not heard before that made my alarm bells go off - his grandfather was extremely physically and emotionally abusive to their mother and to them their entire childhood (I knew this part already) but what I did not know was that my husbands grandfather almost died when he was a baby and apparently his mother took him to what they call in Mexico "the dark side" and basically vowed to trade his soul if they would make him well. I'm not lending any credence to this necessarily but I don't like it at all as a Christian and feel the need to pray against any type of generational darkness or spiritual blindness that may be over my husband. How would you pray for this? I know God knows our hearts, but is there anything specific I should be asking?

For the information, I am a young adult.

I noticed this general behavior. Every woman I try to know more, seems interested in person but when on chats (where I can actually make dates and all), just become low interest. Then it happens in person.

Every woman I knew just hadn't a interest in me. When I was fawned over by women was when I had a girlfriend (which also lacked interested in me).

Catholic women are the same for me, no interest, nothing. You can spark conversations with them, try to advance and things get destroyed by lack of interest.

I tried chatting this girl and asking if she is available tomorrow, she said she had a birthday. Ok. I asked if she was available sunday. On read for 22 hours.

What is the reason for this? It is hard to me to not fall into temptation and give up, paying girlfriends for hire to act like girlfriends to me.

I prayed a lot for a girlfriend, asking even intercession of Saint Anthony and Saint Joseph. I keep getting disappointed. You say women are different but all I see is the same behavior. Same behavior in EVERY WOMAN.

I have a dream of becoming a father, a good husband, a good christian family... The dreams seems like a future that will never be. Giving up is tempting and just ignoring women (if they already didn't do that to me) seems very tempting.

(Edited because people keep invalidating my experience and keep being rude. Next time, have some self-respect. Look at yourselves! Be like Saint Francis.)

We (25F, 29M) got married last year after 2 years of dating. He is a great man and I love him and hope to find solution to this problem.

I had a boyfriend before my husband I but didn't do anything sexual with him.

My husband had 2 serious girlfriends and was sexual with both of them. He also struggled with porn in the past (he stopped watching it 4 years ago but admits that it's still a temptation).

We waited until the wedding.

We had rough start with being intimate. I was overwhelmed and intimidated. Everything was strange and felt wrong in the beggining. With time I started getting used to it and eventually started getting pleasure from being close with him. After few months I thought everything was going in the right direction.

But after 6 months when everything was going ok my husband started sharing with me his tastes and desires for our intimate life and honestly it shocked me. Things he wanted try seem wrong to me. Like perverse and pornographic.

After I explained this to him he said that what he was proposing is normal for married couples, and that he believes my reaction comes from the fact that I am inexperienced in such matters, as well as being reserved and shy.

I believed him. I believed that just like with the normal intercourse i need to try to push past this, try things he is proposing and I will eventually get used to them.

But it's been almost 6 months I am trying but it's still overwhelming. I often feel dirty.

He doesn’t force me to do anything. He respects it when I say no. At the same time, however, he keeps saying that the things he suggests are completely normal in a marriage.

I don't know what do think.

Is there something wrong with me?

Are his tastes influenced by his previous experiences as well as porn?

I have no one to talk about it honestly.

My closest friends are not married yet, I don't have sisters. I've tried to talk about it with my mom but she got uncomfortable really fast and told me that "marriage has its challenges".

What should I do?

Should I trust my husband and keep trying, hoping that everything will turn out okay?

Should I suggest that he go to therapy?

Where can I find information about what is and isn’t okay when it comes to being intimate within marriage?

How many people here sleep in separate bedrooms? If so why? I am really glad the stigma around this is dying down. Many people have medical or physical conditions which make the arrangement much more desirable. I personally am going through menopause and the horrible hot flashes. When Im in the bed with another warm body I overheat. Last night I woke up around 2:30 and my face literally dripping with sweat. I had a splitting headache and was nauseous. I ended up dry heaving till about 4....not much time left for needed sleep.

Im scared to bring itvup to my hi husband because he will just say he needs me there to sleep and that it makes no sense.

Religious Married man, how can we cope with sexual needs on a dead bedroom marriage? I couldn't work on it anymore

I cannot watch porn, cannot having affair

I only have sex with my wife less than 20 for the past 3 years.

My husband has been ignoring me for weeks. We are physically separated at present because of logistics. He was upset about something. I apologized. After a one hour conversation, apologies and discussions to clarify the miscommunication, I thought everything was fine. He then proceeded to ignore me. No calls, texts. I thought it was my phone but eventually my messages stopped going through to his phone entirely.

I raised it with our local church who said they would "speak with him". I am not sure if any of the elders consulted with him. He only reached out when someone was looking for me and continued to ignore me after he found out my location.

I raised it again with another elder within our church who essentially said nothing.

I suspect this will go on for months considering physically, there is no advantage to reconciliation as he is not receiving anything from me.

This has happened in the past but never for this long. He has suggested in the past that it is a 'natural' response for anyone who is upset, quoting the fact even in scripture God withdraws from saints who have sinned. I have tried to explain that it doesn't solve anything and it makes me subconsciously walk on eggshells because usually, if he feels 'wrong' in conflict, this can be the response.

I am frustrated and deeply hurt, if I am blunt. With the church eldership's apparent apathy but also with the childishness of my spouse, especially considering beyond an apology, I am not sure what else he thinks he can achieve by this.

Is there a 'biblical' approach to this? I am praying for his repentance because truthfully, I don't know many marriages that survive such behavior.

I’m currently tackling an adult life long issue , 39M , when I was 18 I developed sexual needs but living in a small village with no internet was a blessing but also a downfall . I only had my mind and clothing catalogue . I guess I’m stereotyping here but most men would look at lingerie where as I found athletic women my attraction . I used to use women’s sports swimsuits to masturbate . This for me developed what i would consider an unnatural behaviour towards swimwear . I’m not talking wearing them or anything other than finding women in sports swimsuits a turn on . This then led to watching porn and only swimsuit based porn . I think I convinced myself as their bodies were covered it was ok and not a sin . It was only last year I found Faith after many years without it I had an overwhelming sense of guilt . This year I have made big changes including this what I consider strange fetish . My wife is aware of it and often used to wear one which I repent for as I feel kind of like a pest looking back . Today marks 14 days of no masturbation nor porn . I feel quite distant from my wife as we struggled with our relationship last year . I obviously love my wife and her body and repent for even looking at other women with Lust . I just wonder if anyone can give advice or support as I feel very alone in my struggles . I love my wife with all my heart but I feel like we are drifting further apart . She tells me she finds me attractive yet our sex life is irregular due to a busy lifestyle and work balance . We’ve just got back from a holiday and even the beds were separate although our focus was our son enjoying his holiday . I feel like my wife is resentful as I refused sex the other day due to not wanting it even though it’s been a while . I genuinely don’t know where to turn to try get our trust and bond back as even trying to joke I’m met with angry comments or just made to feel I’m childish . I guess if anyone has tackled porn addiction can tell me what’s normal with feelings and labido as I pray daily , my wife said she didn’t have an issue with me watching porn which made me question myself even more as I see it as a sin and I know my morales do too . I had images of my wife and I deleted them to avoid resentment and the temptation
To masturbate . I always had a high sex drive but now feel almost numb and never in the mood for intimacy.

Looking for recommendations on marriage workbooks/devotionals that couples can do together to help strengthen marriage. A plus if it’s focused on repairing damage that’s already occurred through lots of fighting and disrespect aimed at each other.

My husband and I are in a really tough stage of marriage where we both do not like each other and say some really harsh words. We have more bad days than good. He says he’s a Christian and attends church with me but he doesn’t really read the bible or invest himself in any personal spiritual growth activities. He has severe ADHD and a temper and a lot of our fights have centered around him not contributing to maintaining the household/parenting our 2 year old.

Seeking something that may open doors for him (and I) to eventually forgive each other and find ways to repair our relationship before heading for divorce.

I found out about my husbands porn habits many years into our marriage. I was wrecked. Two weeks after that I found two photos of my sister on his old email that he admitted to masterbating to. One was 8 years ago, the other one 9 years ago.

There were no other photos sent after that. The only other thing I found was one of his porn searches was threesome with sisters or something like that. That was 4 years ago. Most of his searches were deleted but I found a few.

He says the photos mean nothing. That he was stupid and wishes he never sent those. He says it was a mistake.

But I don’t understand how he can say he was in a happy marriage, that he loves me and is very happy with our sex life but continued to do this behind my back?

Does this mean that he was sexually attracted to her and had some kind of crush on her? I know he says it meant nothing but then why do it? We hung out together all the time. Was he just lusting after her all these years?

I’m so hurt. I don’t know if I want to forgive him for this. I mean I can forgive but I don’t know if I want to continue in this marriage. It was all a fake. He led a double life and I feel used.

I was so naive to think he wanted only me all this time. That he wasn’t like all the other stories I heard. That we were different. But here I am, married to a lustful man. I had pretty bad betrayal trauma after that. I’m more myself now but I don’t feel any love for him and I don’t know what to do. I think I might be making the decision to detach myself and leave. Please pray for me.

My wife of 10 years loves to hear or see words of affirmation. I see so many posts on here about how men have lost interest in their wives.

I just wanted to share a text I sent my wife this morning.

Mahal Kita! 😍😘

The highlights of my day are:

1) When I get to wake up next to you & see your beautiful face.

2) When I get to hold you & kiss you.

3) Seeing you naked when you’re changing for the day.

These are my 3 favorite morning activities.

Original Post Above

First, I wanted to thank everyone who took the time to comment. Some were hard to read, and some were encouraging/validating. I appreciate them all.

-To address a few, no I don’t have a support system. I have very very few friends, and even less family. I am not in contact with a big portion of my family due to my mother’s mental illness and the toll it has taken on my own family. It is genuinely just me at home day in and day out, to multiple moderately autistic kids (diagnoses were after we had already had the majority of our kids). I homeschool them to accommodate their needs. His family is able to be helpful here and there but they are not available most of the time.
-Yes, birth control has failed MANY times. I’m talking IUD, diaphragm, condoms, etc.
-I have tried to leave in the past and due to lack of support and finances, couldn’t. I am well aware that he has sinned against me. I just wanted to make sure I personally wasn’t wrong from abstaining from sex biblically- I’ve heard a lot of confusing things in some of the churches I’ve attended.

Now the update,
I found out that he had been doing things to me while I was asleep and on top of that, lied about it.
I got mentors from our church involved, and with their help, we are separated but in the same home.
I have sought my own mental health support so that I can get a clear head, and make plans to get out of this situation. I’m not sure what my end goal is but right now I’m working on procuring a job of my own to support myself and the kids if we leave, and I’m taking antidepressants to just help me cope right now.
Unfortunately due to some poor financial choices on his end, one of our vehicles was repossessed so we will have to share one for the time being, which complicates some things. I will make it work.

Again, thank you for anyone who has taken time to read. I don’t know if reconciliation will be a part of his and my story, but I know I plan on healing myself regardless. If anyone does have any success stories of reconciliation after abuse or breaking of trust I do want to hear them.

I’ve been thinking about something lately that I don’t even know how to explain without sounding ungrateful.

My husband and I have only been together for a little over 3 years. We started dating in the spring 2023 after knowing eachother online a few months but not meeting yet , were engaged by winter 2024, planned a wedding ,married that summer, blended a family of two young kids we have primary custody of , bought a house, started trying for a baby almost immediately (planned to
have one together) , went through 2 early
pregnancy losses losses, got pregnant again w our successful pregnancy , and now we have our baby who is six months . all this happened in the first two years of our marriage . totally a blur of so much.

Basically, all of the big exciting life things happened one right after another. boom boom boom
to the point it was hard to soak it in and it felt
chaotic .

And lately I’ve been realizing that I think part of me feels…anticlimactic about where we are now.
Not because I don’t love my life. I do. I love my husband, I love our kids, and I’m so grateful for the house and family we have. i’ve been thinking about why i might want another baby sometimes strongly tho
i’m
not even sure i want another kid and feel maxed out- he doesn’t).
and i tbinj a lot of things r there for me but one is i wish we got to
plan a family
together anticipate , and growing our family happened so fast and was just done after i had wanted it on my own for so long and then w him.
it feels kinda like we opened all the presents at once.

There was always something to look forward to Getting engaged. Planning a wedding. when we dated we did fun trips which we can’t afford now and we can’t leave the baby. (we did go on two trips when married one is the honeymoon and then we did go to italy ) Buying a house. Trying for a baby. Pregnancy which i longed for for years . Imagining who our baby would be. And then suddenly the baby is here, the house is bought, we’re married, and we’re just…living the life we built. the chaotic life where i feel thankful but so maxed out daily and barely even see my husband bc he’s working so hard to
provide for us

I think I’m realizing that I miss the feeling of building toward something. maybe and the exciting stuff

And maybe part of what makes it strange is that we compressed what might have been several years of milestones into about 3 years. There wasn’t much time to just be young and married and wonder what was next. We were always moving toward the next thing.

Now there isn’t an obvious “next thing.”
And I feel a little sad about that.

Not because I necessarily need another baby or another huge life change tho a times i wonder if i want a baby someday but lately i wonder if i don’t actually want another child . I think it’s deeper than that. I think I miss anticipation. I miss having something ahead of me that feels exciting and new. I miss that feeling of our life is becoming something. that we were still building and looking forward to exciting stuff together

I also wonder if I’m grieving the slower version of our story that we never really got to have. The years of just being married. building a family
from scratch and continuing to build
it together. having a baby then planning another and maybe another . The different homes or stages. The feeling of gradually building a life together instead of seemingly arriving at it so quickly. like a chaotic boom where i barely
could catch my breath while
it was happening and now i wish we had more to look forward to of the exciting milestones together lol

I know there will be so many new chapters with our kids, and obviously life will continue to change. But right now I’m just sitting with this weird feeling of, “Wait…that all happened already?”

Has anyone else ever felt this way? Like you got the things you wanted, but because so much happened so quickly, there’s almost a little bit of a letdown afterward? Not regret. Not unhappiness. Just…missing the anticipation and wondering what comes next. sorry if i sound like an ingrate my husband doesn’t get it and is like it’s just a different chapter and is sick of me talking about this stuff and thinks i’m not
appreciating what we have …but i had to vent .

I posted this in a reply to post, but I think it is important and worth discussing more specifically. I was in a rush so it's not as clear as I'd like, but I trust you can get the gist!

I had super high libido before marriage and then it tanked right when we got married.  A woman's libido is like a litmus test for the health of the relationship.  Negative and positive emotional experiences become strongly associated with sex.  A woman with a high libido can come to hate sex.  How men and women experience sex is completely different.  Women often dont understand that it is an emotional need for men to have sex because the hormone vassopressin is how they feel loved.  Men often don't understand that this rejection isn't personal, but rather is based on a woman's need to feel cherished, safe, and relaxed *before* sex in order for them to not start hating sex. She isn't choosing this, she is designed that way.

Men concerned with finding a woman with high libido or men who are struggling with an uninterested wife would benefit from learning how to have a healthy relationship connection, learning to seduce a woman and *make* her want it, and learning how women differ in how they experience sex and libido and love in relationships.  

Misunderstanding God's design and how he made us has resulted in at *least* 50% of the marriage problems that exist.  Women do not usually come with a preset libido like men do, but both women and men think that is how women work and become resigned to it, and its not true.  Women feel love with oxytocin before sex, which opens them up to vulnerability and intimacy.  They assume men feel the same thing, but men do not.  So men rush in to have sex and feel intimate and loved, which can make the woman feel stressed or even used.  And then when the man gets rejected, he assumes women also feel vassopressin-level love during intimacy, and thus the woman must really hate him if she wants to avoid feeling that intense love with him.  In reality, she has no idea that sexual rejection causes emotional pain, and views his upset reaction as a selfish physical desire - if she hasn't had time to feel relaxed and close and emotionally intimate and loved *first*, she assumes he is experiencing the same lack of closeness emotionally and just wants physical satisfaction.  And since he wants to experience love, he assumes she knows this and hates him.

If we knew these things 15 years ago, how different would our early marriage have been? How many couples are hurting simply because they don't understand that men and women are designed completely differently? 

If someone is looking for a high libido wife - the bad news is that high libido before marriage doesn't mean high libido after marriage.  Good news is, a nurturing, loving relationship where you understand your wife's emotional and biological needs will result in positive emotional experiences becoming strongly associated with sex for her, and thus a high libido.

When properly understood, it is actually better this way! Can you imagine if God actually had designed most women with an unchangeable low libido and most men with a high libido? How scary would getting married not knowing if your libidos match be?  In reality, women can in most cases with a healthy relationship adjust to match the man's libido.  But it takes patience and understanding and not rushing things, because she experiences see ao differently than a man.  Also a little romance, and non-sexual connection throughout the day (talking, cuddling, whatever works). Also make her feel good emotionally - in an honest way, not being manipulative just to get sex.  This isn't because she is holding out on you, she was designed to be open and vulnerable only under certain conditions.

Also pheromones are a thing. If a guy doesn't think positively of his wife, chemical messengers let her know. Her body decides she doesn't want it, and she doesn't even know why. But the reverse is true as well!

Caveat: I know everyone is different and a huge variety of issues can come up, including women wanting sex more than the man. My guess is that in most of those cases there is some kind of relationship issue, physical issue, or even spiritual issue at play, and still not merely a simple physical mismatch. I am basing this on the observation that "low libido" men can sometimes suddenly have a higher libido in a different relationship. I don't think switching partners is ever a good answer, but it points to the relationship itself having a problem that needs to be addressed, not the person being the problem.

So I’m a 25(m) and my wife is a 24(f). We’ve been together for about 4.5 years and recently married a couple months back and tbh I question if I made the right choice. I know marriage is not easy but our marriage in summary has just been sad and filled with a lot of hurt and resentment on both sides. Throughout our relationship I can say we’ve definitely had some issues. Specifically surrounding communication and the expectations we have for each other. In a general sense we’ve let each other down in these aspects countless times and have spent years in toxic cycles. This has caused break ups which didn’t last long and a lot of trying to fix things. I honestly felt like most of our relationship was us just trying to figure it out and make it work over enjoying the time we have together. The first year of our relationship felt like a movie. I understand it was pretty much the honeymoon phase but I can’t explain how happy we were together, since that first year it’s honestly just been a decline. We still really love each other but I can definitely say throughout the rest of our relationship we’ve been craving that feeling of how easy things were and how happy we used to be. For some reason on every special occasion we just end up fighting or upset with each other. This has happened on birthdays, vacations, general outings, even on our honeymoon. Although our wedding we didn’t fight my wife was upset and didn’t enjoy herself due to some other things regarding our wedding planner. Something in me definitely broke after our honeymoon fight, I feel like I just checked out of our relationship. It’s like my body is here but my mind and heart are not. I know all of you may ask than if we were having so many issues why did we get married? We did it based on the fact that we really do love each other and hoped one another would change in certain ways but I think reality hit us hard. Prior to our wedding I know we both were in a place of confusion and we didn’t even know if we were doing the right thing anymore. I remember us talking and we both were just unsure but our families put in so much time and effort to support us we didn’t want to let them down so we just kinda said well we love each other so we’re just gonna do our best and go through with it. Now here I am present day partially regretting my decision. I know I love my wife but I do feel as though we shouldn’t have gotten married. I keep replaying in my head all the times we broke up and wonder if that was God trying to safe us from all this hurt and all the things we were not ready for. I heard someone say that God is not the author of confusion and what’s for you, you will know and be sure about. It makes me think heavily in the premise of my relationship and I can say for a while we weren’t sure about one another. I’m not to sure what to do tbh. Never in my life have I thought that once I got married I would even consider divorce but that’s all that’s floating around my mind rn. I’ve been told by people I’ve opened up to and they said well we don’t have any kids or any major assets so it wouldn’t be to hard financially but the emotional aspect will still be tough. Also I do know what the bible says about divorce and remarriage. I’ve even thought about going through with it and just being alone for the rest of my life … I just want a second chance, a chance to do things right, maybe be with someone who actually appreciates me and sees my worth. Where it’s a bit easier and home doesn’t feel like a battlefield. I know no relationship is easy but i really feel like me and my wife are just to different.

What are your thoughts? Have any of you got married and divorced? To those that have remarried was your second marriage a lot better? Any advice helps

I am a sexual person. I don’t live in sexual sin. I’m waiting for marriage. But I know that to me, I am a very sexual person. I’m very romantic. I’m passionate.

I want a wife who matches me in that. But it’s not so simple in Christian dating to ask someone if they have a high libido. That tends to put most Christian women off.

I’d like to say that asking such a question is like asking if she likes LOTR just as much as I do, or sailing, or reading.

But what if I marry someone whose libido is very weak. Who has no desire for sex and all its little niches and extracurriculars. That’s a depressing thought.

I have asked this question before and the common answer is that marriage isn’t about sex. Believe me I don’t need a lecture on what marriage is about. I’m talking about sex now.

How do I go about fining a wife who is as excited and joyful at the prospect of exploring sex, and all its little niches and extracurriculars, as much as I am? Someone also with a high libido.

Because I know what parents who don’t have sex end up as. Not just me, but millions of other couples.

I recently posted about my situation but the post was removed from the group. My wife and I have been together for 10 years. We have three young children, including a newborn. I’m at a point where I genuinely think separation might be the healthiest thing for our marriage and family, but I’m struggling with guilt.

For years, our marriage has had a cycle of explosive fights, verbal abuse, physical abuse, apologies, and then periods where everything seems normal again.

This past July and August were particularly bad. My wife physically attacked me multiple times, ripped my clothes, threw things at me, broke my belongings, and chased me around the house. Our children have witnessed far too much of it.

I finally established boundaries that I would no longer tolerate physical abuse. Now it is transitioned to threatening suicide and choking herself in front of our children. She’s also slapped herself, wrapped cords around her neck, and threatened to hurt herself during arguments.

Now things are calm again.

She’s apologetic, says she feels terrible about what happened, and wants love, affection, and reassurance from me. I can see that she’s hurting, and I genuinely believe she regrets her actions.

When she’s angry or abusive, separation seems like the obvious answer. But when she’s calm, remorseful, and trying to be loving, I feel like a terrible husband for wanting to leave.

Part of me thinks I should forgive her, show her love, and keep trying.

But another part of me recognizes that we’ve been doing exactly that for 10 years. Things get bad, we apologize, promise to do better, return to normal, and eventually repeat the same cycle.

I’m considering a temporary separation, not necessarily as a decision to divorce, but as an opportunity for real change, professional help, accountability, and time to figure out whether this marriage can actually become healthy.

I also have to be honest with myself that even if she changes, I don’t know whether I can emotionally recover from everything that’s happened.

Is separation a reasonable and biblical response to a marriage like this?

How do you deal with the guilt of separating when your spouse is remorseful and seemingly trying?

I don’t want to abandon my wife, but I also don’t want to spend another 10 years repeating the same patterns while our children grow up thinking this is what marriage looks like.

I know to put this specific title in this thread will probably get alot of ruffled up feathers in here. But I had a questions. Now if you are happily married please dont read this any further...... now for my question to everyone in here has anyone ever got a unbiblical divorce? And well what has been your experience this far. Is there anything you regret? Are you married again? Or did you commit to just staying single? Why I want to ask this because alof of Christians which i can agree to is highly against divorce which is right in the begging it was not so God created them male and female....until sin entered the world. And now we mess up. But however alot of Christians seem to make it this unforgivable sin. Which I understand they do want what's best. Now can anyone answer me these questions on here?

HI, this may sound stupid, but what am i supposed to do. I broke up 2 months ago and i still feel very heart broken and i just want him back and ive been crying almost everyday. the thing is i know i need to pray i know i need to go back closwer with God. I know and i did and im trying, not saying that its not good but sometimes it feels like text book answers, no one tells me nor does the bible tell me what to do when i miss him at 2am or when i rmb a random habit of my ex. ive been praying to God for a sign or something. But im not sure if praying about ny ex everyday becomes an obession instead of talking to God. Im really lost, i still love my ex, im not sure what to do. please help me.

Is this true?