title, I've always had a mental block on doing skincare and makeup because I have scarring, so I feel like my skin would only improve up to a certain point. lately I've been watching some of kenny song's videos (he makes cooking content but he's handsome and has a similar facial structure as mine) and i feel like i would strongly benefit from a small amount of cc cream and stuff to even out my skin color and texture.

i would give my scarring like a 3/10 severity out of 10. some friends say it looks like freckles, but when my skin is dry it's noticably textured, maybe 6/10. couple red spots but nothing crazy.

right now all i'm doing is cleansing and moisturizing in the morning and night. another friend with scarring recommended me Paula's Choice RESIST SPF 30 Wrinkle Defense Mineral Sunscreen.

i don't know where to start looking. for those of you who have a routine that gives you even looking skin what do you use and how did you add stuff to your routine over time?

also extra question: how do you handle skincare when traveling? i have a mental block where it feels tedious or trying too hard to bring self care stuff with me to other cities.

It's actually a hard question, I think all of the other races do to a degree will never get us East and Southeast Asians fully.

In my personal experience I've never experienced serious racism or microagressions from Hispanics born in America, but I know others with different experiences.

For other groups it depends on whether they're FOB immigrants on born in America (Persians/Armenians or Indians this applies to greatly).

Asian-American woman faces racism from teenagers in Montenegro. Let’s support her / other Asians by bringing attention to this and the arguments by native Montenegrins in the comment section denying this behavior is appalling. I, as tall built Asian-American man haven’t faced Ching chong racism until I came to Montenegro as well and on several occasions by teenagers here in Montenegro. There is clearly a lack of education in this country even in comparison to other Eastern and Southern European countries. Please do not go to Montenegro and spend your money there, even if youre trying to save money to go to an affordable country. Your money and time is support, and the lack thereof is also a choice.

Why would they even mock a country China that has contributed to world history, old and modern, in magnitudes
Montenegro people has never contributed anything to history. They’re known to be uneducated, lazy people who dont work and just lay by the beach.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dedv7YDISoK/?l=1

Most people are aware of how the media frames international tourism in Southeast Asia. But few talk about Bali's Kuta Cowboys.

For decades along Kuta Beach, local Balinese surfers and beach boys created a subculture where hundreds of thousands of visiting foreign women (from Oz, Japan, Europe) actively sought out local Asian men for romance, surfing lessons, and companionship.

Rather than fitting into passive stereotypes, these guys leaned into fitness, surf culture, and raw charisma—completely subverting the usual dynamics seen in Western media.

When my japanese girlfriend first mentioned about her female friends travelling there to meet guys, I could not believe it. In my quest for learning more about being attractive to ladies, I travelled to Indonesia and witness in my own eyes those masters. For the first time of my life, I saw women of all origin travelling to get romanced by asian men.

I cannot stress the importance of self improvement, especially learning from guys who are super skilled. This is what I noted

- They are not tall but they have surfer bodies, wear cool necklaces, wristbands

- They are super smooth, cool, friendly, a dgaf attitude

- They have skills that are attractive to ladies: surf instructors, guitar playing and singing, dancing, super social and friendly

Worth looking into if you haven't seen the documentary Cowboys in paradise. Curious to hear people's thoughts on this subculture.

Where would be good places to live and date/settle down as an asian in latam?
34m remote job to support myself. Cost is not an issue

I'm honestly tired of seeing Asian men get erased from conversations about representation. With The Hole, I think it's fair to question why the story is being adapted this way lmao?? Obviously I'm not saying Hoyeon Jung shouldn't get roles or that she is responsible for Hollywood's decisions. That's not the point. The issue is that Asian men already have such limited representation as romantic interests and mainstream Asian women could at least try to challenge it

Even though my hair is a lot longer now, so many people always told me to cut it shorter, and honestly I’ve came to the realization that the clothes you wear the haircuts you get everything is just secondary compared to how lean you are face wise. East Asians typically have way less projection compared to caucasians so we really do need to stay as lean as we can if we’re trying to appeal… but none of that matters if you have a trust fund anyway and can source from mainland lmao. But yeah this was 10 months span.

Working on leaning down for a show next year

Height is 5’7 and around 150 lbs. I turned 40 last year and I decided to finally start taking the gym seriously. Lost 15 lbs and some body fat and focused on being less skinny fat by starting strength training this spring - mostly Smith, bicep curls and using EZ curl bars. I want to get slightly bigger bicep muscles and a more defined chest. Should I focus on more reps or lift heavier? I don’t want to get bulky - just more defined and lean than now

Honestly, I got a wavy perm and I'm just not loving it, plus styling it every day is a pain. I'm considering buzzing it off and saw styles like the warrior cut that look really good on Asian features. My main issue is styling it, because without a perm my hair is pin straight and no product works on it.

First two photos it's me the other one are just hairstyle that I like

Comedian Shane Gillis recently went on SNL and basically “sl*t shame” women for dressing inappropriately to the gym. This is currently getting a lot of heat from him and is getting cancelled

What no one talks about that he was hired on SNL several years earlier but was fired due to racist videos of him talking down on Chinese people.

Of course you look at the comments on video entire comment section of WM defending him, how typical…

When someone is talking about the racist clip against Asians, apparently it only matters if other groups of races get more attention and people care about it.

Racism against Asian people are normalized and this just proves it

Last week my job hosted an event & a client showed up with a few friends, all Chinese men. I thought one was really attractive, but other than a short glance & quick hello, he didn't really look at or speak to me? Totally fine, I figured he just wasn’t interested or had a girlfriend/wife… fast forward to the end of the night & my coworker was talking to their group in Mandarin (she’s Chinese) as they were heading out, & they kept glancing over at me. When I brought it up later, my coworker told me that they were asking about me because they thought I was pretty, & the one I thought was hot said I had beautiful eyes… ok, that’s nice, but I’m totally confused! Why didn’t he ask for my number/ask me out? Or even look at me for more than five seconds? 

Anyway, I was complaining to my friends about it & we realized that none of us have ever had an Asian guy ask us out. We’re all white women, I think pretty attractive, but that feedback is mostly from white guys, so… do white women tend to do something that is a turnoff for Asian men? Is there some sort of green light we’re not communicating? Am I reading too much into the calling me pretty/beautiful eyes thing... like is that a compliment an Asian guy would give to a friend/doesn't necessarily mean anything? One of my friends said I should’ve asked that guy for his number… I’ve never done that & would like to avoid it, but if that's really the only way, I guess I'd at least consider it. Any advice/criticism/opinions are appreciated.

Also: should go without saying, but I'm not trying to do anything that even hints at me being a "-boo" or fetishizing Asian men... I'm bringing this here because attraction/approach kinda seems related to masculinity, & I don't trust/care to hear what non-Asian men have to say about this situation.

*Wanted to preface this post by saying that if I moved abroad I'd be still having a high US salary bc I have my own biz.*

Hi there I've been living in LA for a year and it's just been feeling stagnant here. Everything is rundown and dilapidated... it's so quiet, streets are empty, everything is car-driven. I have done the standard hobby bucketlist of pickle ball, running, mahjong, raves, cultural festivals, night clubs, national parks, beaches, concerts, etc etc etc and yet find it hard to find meaningful connection here. People are so far apart, it's hard to sustain contact... I dunno, the weather is nice here, but I just feel so empty here.

I see photos of cities in Asia like Tokyo and Shanghai... I speak Japanese and Mandarin btw (near fluent in Mandarin, JLPT3 (workin towards 2). Dunno if I'll be any less lonely and isolated there, but at least it'd be a bustling city with better infrastructure and affordability. I don't have any close friends here and I just don't see a reason to stay in the US overall...

Curious about what people think... the difference between living in US vs an East Asian country like Japan, China, Korea, or Taiwan. I'm saving up to visit there in a few months. Who knows, if I like it enough I might just get tf out of US and move there at this point.

Is anyone Bothered by Raj not having a GF by the end of the season?

- I know Asian American oppression and de-sexualization are prevalent in Hollywood

- The industry is ran by white executives. So obviously, Asian men are never shown as sexy and desirable.

- But what cut the deepest is: this is a show about outcast men (all Sheldon, Leonard, and Howard were shown as nerdy and undesirable; even Howard was seen by Penny as gross and repellant at first; his redemption arc of becoming a better man thanks to Bernadette was a big highlight of the show). In a show about outcast men, all the white boys got girlfriends (and married) at the end EXCEPT FOR THE ASIAN GUY. Basically, the racist message was clear: Even among the undesirables, Asian men rank the lowest. Tell me that is not offensive and hurtful to you. "We're gonna show all white nerds they can get laid, get love, and get married. There's hope for you, white nerds. Asian nerds: tough luck. Good luck being extinct and alone forever."

- Sheldon and Leonard were all fully realized characters. Sheldon's acceptance speech at the end showed how much he grew. Leonard came out of his shell thanks to Penny. Raj's character was always an afterthought, a stereotype and never realized.

Disclaimer - To all who think: "It's just a show, get over it", no, representation is important. Looking up at your tv and seeing people that look like you succeed in life is how people build self-esteem. Kids need role models. Even adults need role models. Telling marginalized minorities to just ..."get over it" is insensitivity coming from a position of extreme privilege and ignorance.

Please be kind to each other and to me. I am a human with emotions and a family. :)

Ok so The Hole is an upcoming film that stars Hoyeon (actress from Squid Game S1 who got famous in US for it) and some white male actor. But it is based on a Korean novel where he is obviously a Korean guy.

Now typically this would be extremely exhausting and just the typical Asian male erasure/WMAF promotion.

However, (spoilers ahead for people who care) the interesting part here is that The Hole is not kind to the male protagonist. He is supposed to be disfigured and paralyzed, humiliated multiple times throughout the book, and then is revealed to be an asshole who was unfaithful to his dead wife in the end, and finally is killed.

So I'm not totally sure how to feel about this, though I still definitely lean towards hating it as it's still whitewashing an Asian male lead and showcasing yet another WMAF relationship, even if it's not a good one. Plus I have strong suspicions that Hollywood would demand some critical plot changes to be kinder to the white male lead. And of course, though the wife is dead during the entire book/movie, I would be shocked if they didn't include a flashback sex scene.

I was pretty surprised to see that the director Kim Jee-woon is not, as suspected, a self-hating woman. I don't know much about him, but curiously he's a 62 year old man who has never been married or in a relationship and has no kids. I definitely would suspect that he's a closeted gay, as we know how that's the only type of Asian man Hollywood will accept into their circle.

I think it's better if I hang out with other Asian people.

So I'm a high school junior and this guy is in my class, we've been on 3 dates and he says he wants me to be his girlfriend, but his parents need to approve of me even for a causal high school relationship.

Some info about me just to clarify: I'm Saudi-Chinese, born in US but moved to China as soon as I was born. I lived in Shanghai (where my dad was born and raised) for 10 years and went to an English school. I moved to Silicon Valley when i was 10. I'm Muslim, but am allowed to date and don't wear hijab, my family is pretty open.

But I was only a kid when i lived in China so I don't know how to impress his parents, should I bring a house gift, or food, or a plant???? I'm smart and definitely would call myself attractive but I'm really lost on what to do, because I really like this guy and he's attractive and athletic and smart and tall and my type.

EDIT: would it be rude to excuse myself to pray in a spare room???

Damm you don't hear much about Asians in Miami let alone Mongolians in America. Here is a story for you to read. And you can formulate your own opinions on the situation. This guy is a model of sorts as well.

Basically the title. I’d love to hear your experiences as I’m considering trying it out. I’m a 28y Asian American, wondering if any other Asians have tried matchmaking or even things like speed dating. I want to stray away from the dating apps, it personally has never worked that great for me. I’ve been looking into matchmaking designed more towards Asians meeting other Asians.

If you’ve experienced it, would you recommend it (and what matchmaker would you recommend) Or do you think it was just a huge waste of money? Is this something more commonly done at a later age? Like 35-40s instead of in my late 20s. Any insight is appreciated, thanks.

As title states, I have been mainly bald or buzzed for my teenage years as I haven't really needed hair to look good, now as I try to grow it out, it hasnt really taken any shape and sort of sits there. It also gets greasy quite quickly. I do not currently use any products, if anyone has gotten past this stage and would be willing to recommend what hair style/products/length would be suitable for me would be super helpful.

I'm a late 20s male. My parents had me in their 40s. My parents hoarded and significant parts of our home became unusable. I wasn't allowed friends, so I grew up quite alone. I wasn't allowed to choose my own haircut or clothes. Any semblance of independent thought I showed was met with guilt-tripping. I wasn't allowed to have goals outside of becoming either a doctor or an engineer. The city I grew up in was very car-centric, but my parents refused to even let me learn how to drive. Anything I did was used against me. You know - the typical "tiger" parent story.

I grew up ashamed of being Asian and wishing so bad I was white. My self-esteem was so shit that I relished in the tidbits of attention I got when I played being the token Asian. I was violated at school, and my parents made it my fault when I tried to speak up. I rebelled in ways I could and made some choices I regret, just for the sake of trying to seek attention as a young adult. I was so angry at my parents I eventually cussed back at them. I resented them for seemingly blaming me when I got violated at school.

Eventually, I started disliking the racism I internalized against myself, and I wanted to make something for myself. Once I graduated from university, I threw myself into my work. I moved out to a new city a year after graduating, and dedicated my life to my career. I went almost no-contact with my parents for years. I made manager at the big firms. It was no easy feat. I liked to say that I'm a self-made man.

Then my dad died unexpectedly. I rushed back to my hometown to help fly my siblings in. I coordinated his funeral while working 60 hour weeks. I tried to lighten my family's mood the whole time. Then at his funeral I just broke down crying. I disrespected him the most growing up, and there I was, crying the hardest out of us siblings. I realized that I was so mean to him all my life because I only ever wanted to make him proud, and I talked-back because I felt so bad whenever it felt like I disappointed him.

After the funeral, I quit my job and stayed behind in my hometown to help my mom. While cleaning the hoard of a house, I went through my dad's old stuff. I got glimpses into who he was when he was younger. I started realizing that my dad wasnt who I thought he was. As a kid, I felt that he was a very unreasonable person, but I realized that he was never greedy, he was just scared of being betrayed again by his colleagues. He wasn't a bad man, he just never learned to communicate calmly. I look back at all his unread emails in my inbox when he researched cures for my weak health. Back then, it felt like he was just my biggest hater. Now, I see that he really did care about all of us, he was just really strange and overbearing in the ways he did things. Of course, the way a message is delivered is just as important as the message itself. I can't blame him for that anymore, when I'm a big mess inside too despite being a corporate machine on the outside.

Living with my mom during my period of unemployment was somewhat healing. We had some bad fights, especially when she still made unwanted comments when I drove her to appointments, or when she got mad at me for cleaning out the hoard. Towards the end, I felt like I was enjoying being her son again, despite the fights and despite her making the house messy again. When it was time for me to resume my career, I got a job in a big city halfway across the country. It was so hard for me to take the job and leave her all alone, but to my surprise, she told me to take the job with no hesitation.

I moved to my dream city to finally live the life I always wanted. I was having lots of fun at first, but the novelty is wearing off. I'm realizing that my dream city isn't my dream city anymore. I want so badly to go back to the past and have the chance to actually have a proper relationship with my parents. I think I forgave them a long time ago. These days I just start crying whenever I remember my dad. I am feeling like I will regret if I don't move back to my hometown to be with my mom who is now in her 70s. It's not easy, because my gf's career is in this big city, and it'd also kill me to let her go.

Not sure what the point of this post was. I know this doesn't fit the rest of the subreddit. But I'd love to hear if anyone has any stories on successfully reconnecting with their parents once they got older.

My hair looks very bad and I wanted to change the style from a long time ago but I really don’t know what’s the best haircut for my situation. My two biggest problems are big forehead + hair whorl. I’ll gladly take any recommendations

I’ve been having difficulty in the dating world so I’ve been trying to glow up a bit. The advice I got was to lose weight and hit the gym. In my first photo which was taken a few months ago I was around 15 pounds heavier. All the other photos were taken around this month. Have I made any progress or do I still look the same? I’m currently 5 foot 8 136 pounds.

I’ve also changed up my hairstyle and wondering if I should try a different cut or if it looks fine now.

I feel like I’m still chubby so should I continue to lose more weight or should I stay at maintenance and continue lifting?

Would appreciate all input!