I feel like vomiting and I cannot fathom what she is going through. She has been heavily struggling with overbearing parents for years and had just learned about the details of DIY. She was able to start it and got a glimmer of hope, but her parents caught on within mere months since they already knew what to look out for. They took her medication, started her on testosterone injections, are now forcing her to take regular blood tests, and are forcing her to engage in religious activities, with her college and housing situation on the line if she doesn't comply. The last thing she said is that she would try to forget of the existence of trans people and would basically have to rep forever. What a horrific and miserable thing to inflict on someone. If this is you stumbling onto this post one day, I am so sorry for what the world has done to you.

tcd

she had srs so they didn't even adhere to sex at birth mandates. they literally could not tell.

they kept her from either male wards or female wards with no medications, no pain meds, and no chemo, until she died.

they want us dead. they. want. us. dead.

https://www.translegalclinic.com/justice-for-joelle

this was even prior to the legal requirement to segregate based on sex at birth. that only became a law 4 days ago per the Guardian

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2026/oct/15/trans-women-no-longer-to-be-placed-on-female-only-wards-under-new-nhs-england-guidance

The joke is that one guy ruining his life over fucking one of us beacause he sees us as men

Whenever I talk about my debilitating dysphoria related to being a dickless freak everyone jumps to phallo and it pisses me the fuck off, because I know more about phallo than the people telling me to get it and that's the entire reason I'm dooming in the first place.

Every day I actually consider it I find out something new that sucks about phallo and everyone's just like "B-but saying phallo sucks is transphobic and TERFy!" Motherfucker I want better bottom surgery. I more than anybody want a FtM bottom surgery that's good. I'm sorry if it makes you feel like shit to hear about how much it sucks right now, but it sucks! I'm not shaming FtMs for being desperate enough to get it because it's the best we've got, I get it, but we need to demand better! It's cool if it saved your life, but we need to stop pretending that this is the best we can do.

It feels like every third post on subs like r/phallo are people asking about how to get sensation back or complaining about complications and you expect me to want that shit just because I'm heavily dysphoric? My brother in Christ, I'm not listening to TERFs or transphobes whatsoever. My aversion to phallo has come ONLY from reading phalloplasty-glazing posts and I'm not joking.

I've been told I'm spreading misinfo or some bullshit every time I've complained about the atrocious state of FtM bottom surgery and outright banned from sneed and tenderqueer discord servers for being a doomer about it, but I'M READING FROM PEOPLE WHO HAVE HAD THE SURGERY AND LIKE IT. IF YOU WANT ME TO THINK PHALLO IS AWESOME THEN STOP MAKING YOUR POSTS READ LIKE HEAVY COPIUM. I WANT TO HAVE HOPE.

Cons (from what I currently know)

- Heavily reduced sensation: When I see posts asking about how to get sensation back all the replies from other dudes with phallo are like "Oh, not having sensation is normal! It's mostly mental! You've just gotta gaslight yourself harder bro! Stop focusing on the physical sensations and just imagine you feel good! Just imagine and you'll start really feeling it!" Brother, what the fuck??? You're expecting me to want phallo after reading that???????

- All phallo dicks have erectile dysfunction, and the support devices need to be replaced eventually: What it says on the tin. You need an extra implanted device so you have any chance of proper penetration. You don't get hard when you're horny naturally and you need extra surgeries every 10 years or so to get a replacement. Pumps look more natural but need to be replaced more. The bendable rod alternative kinda turns your dick into a bread tie and looks really unnatural if you care about how it looks in action but needs to be replaced less. Once you're fully "done" with phallo you aren't done. You need invasive surgery just for maintenance every 10 or so years.

- So. Many. Fucking. Procedures: To even get it close to looking like a cis penis you need at the bare minimum 3 separate surgeries and multiple medical tattooing sessions on your new penis that very much hurt like hell despite you not being able to feel erotic sensation very well at all

- Complications: The rate of complications is 40% to 80%. Me saying every third post in r/phallo is complaining about complications wasn't an exaggeration. If anything it was giving phallo too much credit.

- MONEY: 4+ Separate procedures is expensive as hell. Enough said.

Conclusion:

So I can have genitals that I hate with my whole being or I could spend tens of thousands and decades of my life for genitals that don't work unless I gaslight myself and that will most definitely have something go wrong with them anyway to make me hate them also, and they won't even stay.

I'm just getting meta or something bro.

I'm begging anyone competent in surgical stuff to even try to figure something out. Surely this can't be the best there is for us. I more than anything just want bottom surgery that works, but holy shit. I'm considering switching my major from Psychology to something I could use to figure this out. The state of phallo pisses me off and I'm even more pissed that people seem to think that me being pissed means that I just don't want bottom surgery as an option for FtMs. I just don't want to accept "good enough" when it comes to permanent alterations to my body.

I've already posted here about how I feel like I've ruined my life by having sex with a cis man.

I just can't get over what happened or how it's affected me. I don't feel like a women anymore. I feel like some kind of sick pervert. Every day, the memories make me feel sick to my stomach, and I can't stop thinking about the fact that there's no way to take it back. I wish I'd broken my arm or leg that day instead, or at least thought things through a million times before doing what I did. I can't keep living like this. I just want to feel normal again and feel like a real, complete women.

Keeping this a secret has been an incredibly heavy burden for me. Even though I've told the people closest to me, I'm still terrified that it'll all come out and my life and reputation will be ruined. I can't take this anymore.

>start T a year and some change ago, allergic to oils so take gel
>ask pharmacy to refill T gel rx two weeks ago, giving a week before I run out, no problem doing so before
>out of stock, would you like to order?
>order confirmed
>week later, no update, still delayed
>have to stretch twelve pumps worth, 2 days off, 1 day on at 1/4 dose, repeat until empty
>run out of all T gel, no pharmacy update
>cycle comes back, want to rope
>walk into pharmacy to see wtf is up
>lead pharmacist is average 50yo white evangelical maga
>lead pharmacist never put in the prescription refill and “accidentally” confirmed the refill order, said that the prescription didn’t work with my “demographics”

☕️💿

One day it will be me in that photo !!!

So long they go past my shoes but also so tight they won't button. IWNBAM

Had this one sissy type call himself a "shemale transgirl' on the local casual forums and I'm still seriously considering going to his house making him blow me and then while he's cleaning up stealing literally all the cans from his pantry and leaving. If I do it I'm deleting this post so it can't be traced back that I stole the beans bless. Only thing stopping me is I don't think I could hold myself back from ending his life.

I gave my blood test provider my “””sex assigned at birth””” and now all of my results keep blaring alarms at me whenever it turns out I’m a biological woman with biologically female hormones. Absolutely stupid.

Someone should make an mra soyjak

first time getting a transphobic dm,,... feeling nervouss >///<